Macaroni Tears

5 Oct

About week ago, I went to lunch with a friend. While we were talking and eating, Zoey tried to grab everything off of the table. Toys didn’t interest her or distract her because she was focused on food. My friend asked if we could get a soft tortilla for Zoey to eat while we had lunch. That would be the perfect distraction to keep the baby’s hands off of the table. At first I was nervous. Before that day, Zoey had never eaten anything except for mashed baby food. I figured that my friend knew what she was doing, since she has two children of her own. I agreed and Zoey ate the tortilla. Guess what? SHE SURVIVED!!

After that experience, I’ve become a little more brave with allowing Zoey to try new foods. I bought cheerios for her, and she loved them. I gave her steamed vegetables without mashing them. I give her little bites of my food. She loves it all.

Tonight, we ate in a restaurant because we were running errands at supper time. My cousin met up with us and mentioned a kid’s menu. I didn’t order anything from the kid’s menu, but it gave us the idea to let her have some macaroni and cheese. My husband ordered it as his side dish and fed her the first bite. She loved it. He kept feeding her, and she continued to reach for more. She liked it so much that she began to shout if her daddy was taking too long giving her another bite of macaroni. It was adorable and she had cheese all over her face by the end of her meal. I’m not sure how it happened, but she even got cheese all over her glasses. I regret not taking a picture.

On our way home, I began to sob. Seriously.

This baby didn’t exist until February 16, 2011. I created her. She wasn’t here, then she formed inside of my body, and then she was here. AND SHE CAN EAT REAL FOOD LIKE MACARONI AND MOTHER FUCKING CHEESE. I know it sounds like a ridiculous reason to cry (I promise I was sober), but it all hit me at once and it kind of amazed me. It is so hard to believe that I made this baby, and she is a functioning human. I’m just plain ole me. How did I create this? (Not literally, I know how that happened.)

It made me so happy.

I usually have a similar emotional experience once every couple of days, but I never sob. I usually just find myself surprised/amazed that I created a baby, smile, and move on. I think the symbolism of her eating fully prepared food for the first time triggered the same type of emotion I’ll feel when she graduates or when she gets married. Oh my god. I created something that will graduate and eventually get married. I need to go and shower all of this emotion off of me right now. Right now.


2 Responses to “Macaroni Tears”

  1. Michael Burrow October 5, 2011 at 11:54 pm #

    Oh yeah, she was def in to that Macaroni. Pretty soon she’ll be munching down everything in the house and I’ll complain about the grocery bill being so high! 😛

  2. My Process Diary October 6, 2011 at 5:58 am #

    My son is just two days older than Zoey and is totally obsessed with food too. We call him the viper when he is at the table. I’m the same with food- probably a bit too precious but I am learning to relax.
    Good job on creating a perfect little human by the way?

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