Milestone Frustration

12 Jul

I am so sick of hearing of the milestones that my baby is supposed to be hitting. Probably because she isn’t hitting the milestones. It makes me really upset to get emails from baby websites that say things like “Your baby has started to roll over last month, and this month she can roll over the other way!” NO SHE CAN’T. She lays there and kicks her feet. She has no desire to roll in any direction. She can’t even really lift her head off of the ground because she hates tummy time.

You can imagine my frustration when all of my friends who had babies at the same time as me start posting pictures of their kids rolling over, or even crawling. (At this point, I just remind myself that I love my friends and that I shouldn’t hate them just because their babies are developing faster than mine.) I’m determined to make sure that she can sit up by herself before the others  can. I just need to have that.

I think that the main reason that I get frustrated is because my little sister was slow. She was slow at hitting milestones. She learned to talk later than most babies. She ended up having learning issues later in life and even had to go through special education. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but you don’t want that situation for your own baby. When you have a baby, you have big dreams for that child. You want them to succeed in everything. You don’t want them to have trouble. You definitely don’t want them to suffer socially because of being in “special ed.” You want them to have the perfect life. Not to mention, you feel like a failure if your child is below average. You feel responsible because you made the child. You think there is something wrong with you.


That’s crazy talk. There may be nothing wrong with her at all. Maybe she just hates to be on her stomach because she is fat. Maybe that’s why she has no desire to roll over or do tummy time. Maybe she is perfectly normal and I’m just a mom who is over reacting and panicking over nothing. Oh my god. I’m totally acting like a mom. Ewww, make it stop.

Maybe I should focus on all of the positive things. She loves to sit in her walker (her feet don’t touch the floor yet, and I haven’t even added the wheels to the bottom) and play with her toys on the tray. She loves to blow raspberries. She loves smiling at people, or her reflection. Her legs are so powerful that she uses them to scoot across the floor while laying on her back.

You know, it’s not that bad now that I’m thinking about it. All babies just develop at different rates. I love my baby and she is healthy. That’s all that matters in the end.

Note: This post is not meant as offensive to anyone who is a slow
learner or who has a loved one who is a slow learner. I was being
honest and speaking from my heart. Every mother wants the best
for her child and would be lying if they denied that they feel the
same way as I do. Even if Zoey would turn out to have special
needs, I would love her just the same as I do now. 

4 Responses to “Milestone Frustration”

  1. Deborah the Closet Monster July 12, 2011 at 10:51 pm #

    I graduated high school at 16, but then bumbled around for a couple of years. I struggled with that, because–if I wasn’t doing everything faster than everyone else, what was I? I’d always been caught up in doing things first and fastest.

    There came a point, a little later on, when I realized I was interested in doing it better than faster. I still struggle with this from time to time, but it’s something I believe deeply intellectually even if my knee-jerk reaction is sometimes, “Faster is better!”

    As long as we get there in the end, I figure . . . why not enjoy all the scenery in the interim? As always, I love your thinking, and I love how honest you are about sharing it.

  2. katieemtalks July 13, 2011 at 12:49 am #

    It is hard. I deal with it everyday with a child that has developed normally, then suddenly hit a bumpin the road. It is frustrating to hear other babies hitting their milestones, but it will happen at some point, and I try to be grateful that we have reached the accomplishments that we have. No one does want their child to be in special education and the stigma that represents. Though, as you, I don’t think those children are bad children or that special education is a bad thing. We just do want the best for our children.

  3. katieemtalks July 13, 2011 at 12:51 am #

    I wish I could edit a couple mistakes I made in that post, haha. To clarify, it is Connor that hit a bump.

  4. Heather B July 13, 2011 at 10:11 am #

    Kimmy, I love your honesty. Everyone wants the best for their children. She will get there, in her own time. I can’t imagine how frustrating this must be for you, as well as other mothers. I think y’all are doing a great job as parents. She is healthy and happy and full of kisses!

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