I’m Not Fat

7 Jul

“Mrs. Kimmy, why you still has a belly?”

Those words came from a four-year old girl who was at our slip n slide party. I wore a bikini in front of about 50 people that day. I wasn’t nervous at all. Everyone who attended our party was very much aware that I had a baby four and a half months ago. This little girl remembered my huge pregnant belly and she thought the same way I thought until now. After you have a baby, all of the weight disappears right away. Unfortunately, that’s NOT how it happens.

For the record, my response was “I just had a baby, why are you so fat? Little Ms. Fatty Fat pants??” (She isn’t fat, and she gave me a confused look before running down the slip n slide)

Don’t take this the wrong way. I know that I’m not fat. If you would compare my size to most “Louisiana Girls”, I’m still petite. I’m just not where I used to be and it feels like I’ll never be there again. That hurts. I’ve begun to exercise, which is something that I’ve never done in my entire life. I still don’t see much of a difference and I’m 15 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight. I had no idea it would be like this! I seriously thought that I would be back to normal in no time. I only fit into a few of my “non-pregnant’ shirts, and only one pair of my jeans. I refuse to buy new clothes because I’m convinced that I will eventually fit into a size zero again. I feel like buying new clothes in a new size would be like giving up and accepting that I may never go back to “normal”.

This is especially difficult because I’m used to eating whatever I want, whenever I want, as much as I want. Now I have to be careful. WHAT THE HELL. I don’t know how to do this and it is so difficult. I just don’t like healthy food. If I break down and eat something fried, I have to pace up and down the hallway and do several extra laps when I walk the dog. I’m still not losing my little gut. I don’t think I can explain to you how frustrated I am. I can’t even wear a fitted shirt!

I guess I’ll have to adjust to my new body. The only thing that helps is having my husband remind me (constantly) that he thinks I’m beautiful. At least one good thing came from this (aside from my daughter being born). My boobs are an entire cup size bigger.

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4 Responses to “I’m Not Fat”

  1. Kari July 7, 2011 at 10:48 pm #

    My scale says I’m my old weight, the mirror does not. I hear ya girl!

  2. Heather B July 12, 2011 at 4:23 pm #

    I have heard that you body is never the same after you have a baby. At least you are getting exercise by walking the dog. You will get there. It just takes time. Slowly, it will happen.

  3. unknown January 20, 2012 at 4:02 pm #

    Your response to a 4 year old was immature, it’s not like a little kid knows. Should of used a better example, you just look like you’re complaining over nothing.

    • ContradictingKimmy January 21, 2012 at 1:20 pm #

      That four year old knows me well and knows that everything I say to her is a joke. Also, just because something doesn’t seem like a big issue to you doesn’t mean that it isn’t to other people. I’m not complaining over “nothing”. I didn’t like having the extra weight. You really shouldn’t be so quick to judge people. Though, I’m sure it is much easier to do that when you submit it as an anonymous comment.

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