Dropped the Baby

30 May

You can go ahead and get my “Mom of the Year” award ready.

Last night, I was playing around on my computer when the internet suddenly stopped working. My husband was in the batcave (that’s what he calls his “mancave”) playing his guitar, and the baby was sound asleep on the couch next to me. Her feet were facing the back of the couch, that way she couldn’t roll off of it. I figured everything would be perfectly safe, and I got up to walk down the hallway and ask my husband to check the internet connection. I went back there and began to act like it was the end of the world that there was no internet, then I heard it.

Zoey was screaming bloody murder.

I ran into the living room to find her face-down on the floor. Her head was against the foot of the couch and the bottom of her body was on the decorative foot of our coffee table. Her legs are so strong, they have been since birth. She must have kicked the back of the couch with her legs, and launched herself off the couch and into the coffee table, causing her to do a back flip and land on the floor.

I’ve never heard a shout like that before. It took my breath away. I grabbed her quickly, but it felt like it took an hour for me to get to her. I couldn’t talk. My words wouldn’t form. All I could do was sob, and I was in hysterics. I ran to the back of the house where my husband was and I still couldn’t talk. I think he figured out what I was trying to say from the word fragments that came from my mouth. He snatched her from my arms and began to comfort her. I had to run from the room to calm down.

So many things were running through my head! It was my fault, I left her unattended. I could have been there to prevent it. What if she is seriously hurt and they think I’m abusing my child? I’m going to look like a bad parent for leaving her alone. She must be in so much pain! It must have hurt so badly! Everything I thought made me feel worse. Then I realized that I was the only one crying. My husband was able to calm the baby. This was a huge accomplishment on his end. He normally freaks out and hands the baby to me when she shouts. He doesn’t normally know what to do, but this time his instincts kicked in. He succeeded in comforting her. Then he was able to comfort me.

This really, really sucks because I had been making jokes and saying “I can’t believe I’ve made it this long without dropping the baby!” Can’t say that anymore.

I may not be able to take home the “Mom of the Year” award, but I definitely think my husband deserves some sort of award after last night. I’m so proud of him for being able to step up when I needed him. I feel terrible for breaking down like that, but he was able to take care of both of his girls.

One more thing. I don’t want anyone to think that I’m terrible at motherhood and that I’m constantly having breakdowns. I really do not. I just write about those experiences. Really, the two I have written about have been the only recent ones. I don’t feel comfortable with patting myself on the back constantly while writing. I’m not going to brag about how great of a job I did when trying to make her feel better while teething. Well, not unless there is a significant reason to. I really just want to show people that motherhood isn’t perfect and that you don’t become a superhuman when you’re a mom. You’re still a regular human. There will be difficult times, but trust me when I say that there will be wonderful times that will make you forget about the difficult times. Sometimes just seeing her smile will make everything better.

She’s just fine now, by the way. 🙂

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5 Responses to “Dropped the Baby”

  1. Deborah the Closet Monster May 31, 2011 at 1:07 am #

    I had an experience like that, too, when my son was laying on my bed. I felt devastated by it for days, then realized–as did you–I’m still just a human trying to figure this out. None of us are superwomen, although our children may perceive us as that, depending on the day. 🙂

    I love your entire last paragraph. I love that you share these things, though I haven’t thought for a second these errant experiences reflected anything more than errant experience.

  2. Heather May 31, 2011 at 9:03 am #

    You are right, you are only human. You did not drop Zoey. She did that all on her own. I know you will beat yourself up for this. You are not superwoman. I do think you are fantastic mom, though. Yay for the husband calming both of you down. Y’all really are doing a great job.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Pain is So Close to Pleasure « - June 11, 2011

    […] across the floor. With this milestone also comes issues. The first issue would be the day she rocketed off of the couch. Another thing that happens is that when I put her on our bed, she will “travel” on her […]

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