Bad Wife

16 May

I have the best husband in the world. Even though he just recently took a pay cut, he still bought me jewelry for Mother’s Day.

Here’s why I’m a bad wife: I was expecting a ring. I had been hinting around about it, and I even told him my ring size. When he gave me my gift, it was a necklace with our daughter’s birth stone. We are normally very open and honest with each other, so I told him that I would rather a ring. I asked if we could return the necklace for a ring with our daughter’s birthstone in it. He said yes, but then his entire mood changed. He looked like a kid who’s puppy had just been stolen. No, I take it back. He looked like a kid who’s puppy had been ripped from his hands and brutally murdered in front of him. (Maybe that was an exaggeration.) When I asked him what was wrong, he answered with, “That necklace was very special. I wanted to get it for you because you could keep Zoey’s birthstone close to your heart.”

I wanted to die. He had put a lot of thought into this. I didn’t realize that. I couldn’t take back my request for a different gift. I tried, oh believe me, I tried. The damage had already been done. I broke his heart. He told me to choose a ring, so I went online and selected a few different ones. I asked him to choose the one that he liked best. He chose, and made the phone call to get the exchange process into motion. It gets worse.

The customer service representative that he spoke to on the phone told him that he could just return the necklace to our local branch of that jewelry store. Today, we made the 20 minute trip to Lafayette to do just that. When we got there, the salesperson told us that she could not take the return because it was an online-only purchase. She gave us a fed ex box and told us that we could send it in. At fed ex, we had to spend nearly $20 to ship it (and my husband had to wait in line for a very long time). This day dragged on, with one thing happening after another. Each event made him feel worse. I could tell. All of this was happening because of me. All because I’m selfish and wanted a ring instead of the gift that he put so much thought into. Now, he refuses to buy me jewelry without showing me first. I feel terrible. I feel like the worst person in the world. There isn’t anything that I can do to repair the damage I’ve done. I know that it wasn’t something as serious as cheating or lying, but I know that it was still hurtful.

I wish I could rewind and make it better. I wish I could make it up to him somehow. When I asked him what he wants for Father’s Day, he said “Nothing, let’s save some money.” I know you can’t see me, but I just used my finger-gun to shoot myself in the head.

I promise that this blog will get lighter. I’ve been trying a few new things and can’t wait to share them. I had no intentions of it becoming this serious! I just wanted to get this out. I love him and I’m very lucky. I’m lucky that I even receive jewelry as gifts.

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6 Responses to “Bad Wife”

  1. Deborah the Closet Monster May 16, 2011 at 11:36 pm #

    There’s no need to promise it will get lighter! Some days are easier than others. Sometimes, the easy moments and the hard moments come in the same day. (Me, today. Ugh.) But . . . the truth of all of those moments together helps show the whole heart behind the experiences. And hearts experience so much, good, bad, and everywhere in between and outside that!

    The feeling you’re describing is horrible. The good news from it is . . . it helps guide you in future situations. Doesn’t help now, in my experience, but it helps a little a few days down the road.

    Fortunately, too, we’re seen as a totality of the love we give, rather than any single experience.

  2. Heather May 17, 2011 at 9:31 am #

    We want to read about what is going on in your life, good or bad. We are here to support and listen to you. Just let it all out.

  3. cbeck May 17, 2011 at 10:44 pm #

    There was/is a meme going on called ’31 days of blogging honestly’… I don’t think it would have made it to meme status if it was not something people enjoyed writing and reading. So I wouldn’t worry about that.

    As far as hurt feelings go, us guys tend to get over it. It just takes time – a couple hours of back scratches – and, oh, chocolate fudge brownies are good too. 🙂 I think no matter how long we’ve been in them, relationships continue to be a learning experience. Thanks to Murphy and some laws they scribbled down somewhere back in time, we are all destined to screw up a major portion of those new experiences. The good thing is that when love is shared between two people, we get a chance to mess it up again. Even though I haven’t had a chance yet, I imagine that is what it would be like to raise a kid, too. Best of luck working this out. ~Cheers

    • ContradictingKimmy May 17, 2011 at 11:45 pm #

      You couldn’t have said it better than when you mentioned “back scratches” as putting me on the road to forgiveness. haha

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